Sorry this is a day late, I kept looking at my laptop saying ‘I need to blog’ but I would never reach for it. I hope everyone’s Holy Week and Easter Sunday was good.
In my last entry I mentioned how this Good Friday just was not like the rest. I thank those who tried to help with giving me some advice, I will try to think upon them. Even though I feel the advice I was given was good was not the advice I needed. So, maybe it is how I am expressing or writing out my thoughts through this blog that what I am trying to convey is not being shown. My only hope is truly that leaving this duty station to the next will be the key to this all.
I am so glad my husband and I traveled to New Haven, CT for the Easter Vigil. Three hours away from Upstate New York, but I know if we stayed in Upstate New York I would have cried. We went to Saint Mary’s Church located on the Yale University Campus Grounds; it is a parish run by the Dominican Friars of the St. Joseph Province. It was beautiful, but also everything that I had experienced where I am stationed was not shown or being done at this parish. A warmth surrounded me throughout the Mass, something I had not felt for a while.
I cried during the Eucharist Prayer and Communion; for I knew I would not be able to receive our Lord. I had not went to Confession during Lent and though we renewed our baptismal vows and yes for many, if not all the Catholic readers I have would say they are just venial sins. I just could not do it. I did not want to receive bread, but our Lord and my thought process and soul said ‘No, you are not worthy to go up’. It was agony, as I mention many a tears were shed on that night.
Speaking to my Godmother right after the Easter Vigil; she mentioned I needed to make sure I went to Confession during the Easter Week. And I agree with her, my husband and I will then this coming Saturday drive all the way back to New Haven, CT to go to Saturday (Sunday technically) evening Mass, but before Mass they have confession. Some will ask: Why not just go to Confession near you? I would understand, but let me point a few things:
Very few of these parish even have Confession on a daily bases let alone for a good amount of time.
Most, if not all the parishes here only heard Confession by appointment, which normally are full.
This might sound selfish, but I want an actual confession, not a machine. I hate going to a Confessional knowing that I am not the best at saying out loud my sins only to have the priest just say ‘Say one Hail Mary for penance and your act of contrition in the pews’ and then does absolution. Sorry, I had a few of those and yeah, no.
Easter Sunday was relax day and joyous feelings that Christ has Risen. My day was spent spending time with my husband and taking tons of pictures of my puppy, Maggie. My husband for most of the day had on Pipe Dreams, a radio program that focuses on the beauty of the Organ and their show online was devoted to Easter pieces. It was a good day.
Well, that is all for MQT! I am linking here the rest of my photos from Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday. God Bless and HAPPY EASTER! Alleluia!