I have dreaded February since 1999. It is a fact that I have hated this month for fifteen years. No, it was not about Valentine’s Day and being single in almost every single one (or if I was dating, the boyfriends I was with did not care), but it was the sad memories that came with this month.
In 1999, my paternal grandmother passed away. Though I knew she would be leaving us soon due to the cancer; it was still a shock for me. She was my happy memories of all the darkness that surrounded my childhood. She was the lighthouse to not me, but my paternal family.
Once she died that light that kept following disappeared and left me drifting. And the paternal family which I thought would be held together by the bond that she created was gone. We sometimes feel like strangers to one another.
In 2012, the man who was that ‘dad-figure’ to me took his last breath in my arms. That was my great-uncle, and many of you have read my blog, knows the journey of his last year. It was a difficult transition for me, even when I was married in December of 2012 to not see him or to be caring for him.
And so, February had sadness engulfed. Last year, my husband can say that I was dealing with a mood that said: nothing will go right in this month. It was funny my husband can acknowledge this, but I would before or after this month be myself.
This year I had decided that I would not let this month do what it has done for years. I am happy to say that I am half way through the month and my mood plus outlook is in the positive. Even though I foresee some bumps because issues that have arisen (not with my husband or family) that I made a good decision to keep my distant from those who are negative. I feel I would feed off that and the month of February would be just as bad as the lasts.
Keep me in your prayers as this month finishes up.
Well, winter storm blew through here again. It brought about six to ten inches for us in Upstate New York. The most interesting thing about it all was the Southeast got it too. I told my husband that he would be complaining more than what he would up here if we had still lived in Charleston, SC. He agreed.
How much snow, if any did you all get?
I am so ready to leave Upstate NY. We are still working on our PCS, which could not come any sooner for me. I am ready to get into another community of families and meet new people. I know I am repeating myself, but really there is not much else on my mind at the moment. Probably won’t be for a while until I am at my new location.
So, my husband and one of our friends learned something new about me: when I cannot clear my mind I like to solve math problems (from Algebra I and II sourcebook). I know, I know…for a woman who hates math, how could I like that?! Well, it is pretty darn simple: the math problems are not something that is cluttering my thoughts so it actually organizes the thoughts to give me a better way of expressing them. I think that why I have been having troubles writing entries, I am too much on my mind that I cannot accurately sort through how to write them. (If that makes sense)
My husband is very pleased with this by saying: Unverzagt wins. I think he forgets it doesn’t mean I like math, I just like what it does for organizing thoughts. I guess I let him stay in the dark until he decides to read this entry. *inserts laugh*
Today, my husband might be getting me a phone. I have not had a cellphone since maybe February of last year. Decided it would be best to save money by getting rid of mine. The reason that it has come down to getting one are for these reasons:
- Though we have a house phone, which I highly recommend having because your cellphone will not always working or be with you. But, that phone number will always change, a cellphone won’t.
- But, on that note, my husband takes his cellphone and leaves it in the car and so what good would it be if someone calls that number especially when we move.
- Another thing for me is I have friends who are text people, some because they cannot hear while others it is just easier to be able to have multiple conversations at once. This way I am able to stay connected with friends.
So, if I get a cellphone it will be a nice addition for me.
Today is Valentine’s Day, what will my husband and I be doing today? Other than working on moving paperwork, getting my haircut, going to get our puppy her food, and a maybe cellphone; well we are hoping to go out and eat a nice dinner.
What is everyone else doing today?
To finish this 7QT I thought I should share a video that my husband was watching just moments before I was writing take 5:
Take care everyone! Happy Valentine’s Day!