Recently, okay in retrospect less than an hour ago I found this entry which reading it led me to this entry and then finally this entry. As you can read that is exciting news and I am praying for the progress of the ‘Conference’ project. Yet, something with these entries caused me to think about something: how I am feeling left out.
What do I mean by that?
I do not know if any of my readers have felt this way, but let me explain. I am a married woman, mid-twenties, with no children, and a convert. While I am of course still in the age range to participate in young adult groups many push towards a more charismatic approach which for me and even for my husband is not our cup of tea.
I think I have mentioned this a time or two why it is not my cup of tea, but to refresh memories here: one of the large problems is I am not for all the hand raising, contemporary music, let the Holy Spirit take you on a ride. Most times when I think of that I think Southern Baptist and I know Southern Baptist (most of my family is of that domination…some where not to please with my decision to become Catholic, I think the term ‘ya going to hell’ came across a few times). Another problem was because they focus so much on this when going to their meetings (which I had gone to a few) I felt that I was not deepening myself into the faith I had come to love and call home.
I remember one meeting that I went to and they of course have a speaker when the speaker spoke, he rarely quoted the Bible let alone the Church teaching on any matter he was discussing. It was more about feeling good with Jesus. (Which is awesome to feel good with Jesus, but let us get serious there are many moments where our faith is not that easy and not everything is about feelings..just saying.) Finally, many of the groups I found they were cliques-ish and certainly the social circles and I never got along. (I am too quiet or wanting to understand more of the teachings of the Church for many of them they wanted to discuss events they were going to or the latest music and of course that touchy-feeling good was not who I was…mind you I am happy I just…okay cannot explain that part.)
Well what about the women’s group, laity, or the marriage and family groups. Well, let me begin with the marriage and family groups. One of the big problems is I do not have children as of yet, which that means when I speak to some of them it is almost we do not relate (there are a few exceptions). It is a feeling of being the ugly duckling, not a fun thing.
Women’s group and the laity (Dominican) order it has that one problem, many of its members are much older than me (I have no problem with older people gosh one of my favorite people to talk to is my great-grandmother who is 92) and sometimes there is no link between us and for the zeal of deepening one’s faith well there are many I have met who just go to events to socialize and that is fine, but when over 90% are doing that or are focused so much on social events it is a lost for me why I wanted to attend in the first place. (Which I joined because I felt the call to know Truth by study. I need to one day post of what makes the Dominican Order such a call to me.)
As much as I ranted and rambled in those last two paragraphs it brings me to my point. I am stuck in a very hard place, while I could get the socializing from say other Navy wives I know. I think one of the big problems for me is I cannot deepen or express my faith. So, when one sees conferences or group events for Catholicism a lot of times it is directed towards certain people (which for moms they need it as much as fathers do so I understand the drive for it). It makes me wonder where do I fit in.
Am I the only one? If not, what can we do?
P.S. Either way I am not upset or going against what Jennifer and Hallie are doing in fact I am praying for the success of such a conference, just it made me think about it. So in the end I thank them. 🙂