For those who are new to my blog you probably would not know this, but I am an anti-February person. I cannot stand the month.
Oh there are good things about this: Blessed Jordan of Saxony’s feast day, Blessed Reginald of Orleans’ feast day, and my twin brothers’ birthdays; but I hate this month even with those good things going on.
Not because of weather or tragic history with Valentine’s Day (because majority of them I was single). My dislike for this short month would be: bad events unfolded during this month, I lost two of the biggest people in my life during this month.
February 18th, 2012 my great-uncle who I had been caring for since May 2011 passed at home with me holding his head and February 25, 1999 my grandmother passed away after I had talked to her that Sunday.
For Catholics and Christians we should not fear death, for we are to meet Our Lord face to face (by prayers of the living and graces we received by God during our earthly life); but what I think some of those are practicing Catholics/Christians is we still feel the physical loss of those people.
For me, I can accept they have died and are praying for me from above, but I still miss them. I miss the stories, the television shows we would watch (Daniel Boone, Super-market Sweep, Emeril, NCIS, Bonanza), farmer markets visits, and motion sensor witches.
So how can this be a moment of grace entry?
The grace is the acknowledgement that suffering is always there, but that sometimes those whom we love are not taken from us, but are a reminder that God wants us to turn to Him. He doesn’t want us to forget those who have filled our hearts, just like He doesn’t want us to forget Him and the love He always sends us even when we claim to hate Him for taking those whom we love. He never takes anything, He gives.
For this month I stand each day with not only a prayer to go through this month with ease. But a quote from John “Duke” Wayne should explain what I hope to do everyday:
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.
I may dislike this month for memories of the physical loss of those two precious souls in my life, but I cannot say I dislike what those two souls and God gave me: to understand suffering and to turn to that which is Love.