I have never had a miscarriage, ever, but I know many who have. The grief they feel of losing their child (or children) is just as one who grieves for the death of the born children. Yet, just as the women on the show “Catholic View for Women” presented; us, the Pro-Life community really do not know how to speak or help these women (and the men) who are grieving over their lost.
It presented me with thinking of how I have spoken to those who have lost their children due to a miscarriage. Have I helped them through their grief? Have I said the right things to them? I would like to share my recollections of a woman that I know very well who has been grieving the lost of her children due to miscarriage
A young woman who was at the time just seventeen and told me she was pregnant with twins. I had rejoiced and told her I would be there for her if she needed anything.
It was during the last few weeks of my great-uncle’s life that the young woman reached out to me to tell me she had lost both her children, due to the amount of stress. She was going to be “cleaned out” in a few days, as she stated.
I looked at her and hugged her and then asked, “Did you name them?” She looked up at smiled grabbing her phone showed me the picture of her two little ones, telling me she picked names and thought them to be boys. I saw her smile and thought, “She is such a proud mom, they must be very proud of their mom”. I mentioned to her that I will pray for her but also for her two little ones and that if she wanted someone to listen please never to hesitate to speak with me.
Just recently this young woman came up to me and though had a worried look said to me in a hushed tone, “I am five weeks pregnant.” I was a little shocked, but smiled and said congrats. I knew her worry was losing her child, but I told her to have faith and pray often, but know that many are praying for her. She smiled and had to leave, but that smile of relief stuck with me.
Have any of you ever asked someone did they name their child or children? Did you ask them if they were feeling alright? We must understand that they lost their child, they are blaming themselves just like any mother would blame themselves when their child is in the hospital very ill.
The Catholic View for Women mentioned a website (see below) that I think not only couples who have just lost their child(ren) due to miscarriage but all to check out this website on the steps to take.
What else can we do? Have you had an experience of miscarriage or you know someone who has? What did you tell them? How did you feel?