I Get What I Need

In an effort to stay awake, I have decided to write a little. Sunday I was a little unsure of, because my feelings at the time were upsetting to say the least. My fiance knew why and certainly was just trying to be the best rock he can be.

At the parish, I spoke to a woman whom I trust a lot to give good opinion especially in a motherly way. She listened intently though she was trying to turn in money to the parish. She gave me some great advice and made me think about a lot about my friendships. It did not help the pain I was feeling because that morning I received a three page text from my sister. I felt that I was being a little out of line, but goodness sake, I really wanted to talk to my sister yesterday because of the funeral.

Aside that, I guess my sister forgot about the funeral, to which she has asked forgiveness about and claims she would have answered the phone then or the text. Quite honestly, I was sitting there wishing that she had remembered. I told her ‘whatever’ because I could not really give a true answer to my feelings when I was still raw and unsure of them myself. I can say that I am upset, but am I upset with myself or with the situation that has happened through the previous week and weekend.

Throughout Mass I was thinking of what my motherly friend has spoke about, but I was also asking God to help me see myself more clearly so I can become that better daughter of Christ.

Personally I am like Fr. Thomas, I would love to have that   2×4 hit my head. It actually took a little girl to help me a little understand something that God wanted me to know.

We were sitting next to a wonderful family that I have sat near for the past year and finally am getting to know them, their mom and a few of the older children are a part of the parish choir.

Anyways, I noticed that one of the younger girls sat closer towards me than the rest of the family. Which in fact I did not mind because I am comfortable with the family, but also I love kids, I am so glad the parish I attend is very pro-family.

After Mass had ended the little girl said to me:

“What is your name?” ‘Nikita’ “I like you” ‘Thank you’ “I think you are pretty”

I was a little shocked, but it was in the moment I wanted to give this little girl a big hug and say how grateful I was that she said what she said. She likes me and she doesn’t even know me well enough, she sees something that makes me likeable.

Now, does that mean all is better, no, but the little girl gave me a start.

Before I leave this entry I want to mention that I have a good song; sung by Collin Raye. The song is “I Get What I Need”, it is a beautiful song and what is interesting that this song seems to be a song for me:

I knew all the answers
The way my life should go
And when I used to say my prayers
I would tell God so
It seemed He wasn’t listening
I thought He didn’t care
But lookin’ back
It’s plain to see
He was always there

‘Cause I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don’t always get what I want
I get what I need

I’m not sayin’ that it’s easy
Or that it doesn’t hurt
When nothing seems to go my way
Nothing seems to work
These days I’m getting better
At goin’ with the flow
Accepting that sometimes the answer
To a prayer is no

‘Cause I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don’t always get what I want
I get what I need

Every time I’ve had a door slammed in my face
In time a better one was opened in its place

I prayed for strength
And I got pain that made me strong
I prayed for courage
And got fear to overcome
When I prayed for faith
My empty heart brought me to my knees
I don’t always get what I want
I get what I need

Oh I don’t always get what I want
I get what I need

 

God Bless!

Side note: I have somehow hurt my tail bone. There is bruising, and I have no idea why.

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