It was last week that my sister said something about changing my room. I agreed with her because I have been thinking about it for some time. So, last week we were looking at colors and bed spreads. Which is nice, we were at the time doing something productive when I was in the dumps, because I was fearing how my friendship will become.
Now come to this week, my emotions are not of myself, I am hurting. It is not just physically. (To which I say my tail bone is a little better, but not the best) Today was suppose to be the day that my sister and I thought about how to re-arrange my room, as to make it feel and look different. But, of course things happen and forgetfulness runs rapid and so it is just me thinking about the room.
But, could a change in my room help me, especially now? I am unsure, I feel like it is a blur when I think about it. I did start having ideas, but I know that I won’t get to it because all I think is ‘this was a project for me and her’. I wanted to find things that we could do that strengthen this bond and for me to figure out how to allow her back in, especially now.
So, hopefully if I can I will draw up a design and then post the picture on here to see if looks alright, or maybe someone has other ideas to help the room feel different, for now it feels like a cave to me. And it just brings me down more because I rather sink into my cave and never come out. I was even thinking this morning to put a chair up against the door so no one could come in. I am really at my low, hopefully I will raise again in my emotions. I do not think so until this talk with my sister happens. Which it won’t, but I can hope.